An apology to my first born

My dear firstborn,

I often remember the days when it was just you and me for so long. The cuddles, the conversations, and the laughter filled my heart to the rim. You were my first real love. 

And then I gave you a sibling and flipped your world around. I flipped your world completely around and I expect you to be okay with it. That’s not fair, and I apologize. You don’t know how sorry I really am. You were this sweet little ball of fire that loved the world and now you show resentment and anger you don’t know how to control yet. But yet we expect you to be able to control your feelings while we haven’t mastered that ourselves. And that’s not fair and I apologize. I apologize for getting frustrated when all you wanted was my attention. I apologize for thinking you needed to be more independent. I apologize for getting angry with you whenever you were angry at me. I apologize for changing your life.

 I want to see your real smile again. Your genuine laughter that explodes my soul. I want you to come to me when you need help or just a hug. I want you to feel comfortable with yourself and with your feelings. I just want you to know that you truly are loved and you will forever have this special place in my heart that no one else will ever share. 

My dear firstborn, I’m sorry.

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